Past Feeling

This song reaches back into my childhood and forward into adulthood at the same time.

I grew up around people who moved with the Spirit naturally. My grandmother especially. Everything she did felt aligned. As a kid, you notice that kind of thing. As a teenager, you stop paying attention. Familiarity sets in. Distraction takes over.

Years later, I was sitting in a sacrament meeting listening to people share small, personal experiences. What I call micro miracles. Quiet moments where God showed up in ways that mattered deeply to them. Nothing flashy. Nothing dramatic. Just real.

And I realized I had grown past feeling. I was physically there but mentally elsewhere. Phone nearby. Kids restless. Mind drifting. Missing moments that would have meant something if I had been present enough to receive them. These were not imagined experiences people were bearing with behind tear covered faces. These were people describing real interactions with God, and I was treating them like background noise.

This song came from that realization. Not as a warning aimed outward, but as a reminder aimed inward. It is easy to grow numb to spiritual things when they become familiar. It is easy to drift without noticing. I started documenting some of these miracles in my journal as "Miracles of Others" and I consider them additional tethers and anchors providing actual physical evidence of the existence of a loving God that is involved with his children in the littlest of ways.

The prayer in this song is simple. Keep me grounded. Open the heavens. Let the Spirit keep flowing even when my attention slips. God is not withholding anything. He keeps reaching. The responsibility to listen belongs to me.